And my pain is nothing compared to the horrific suffering of millions around the world. Yes, we have pleased Him by surrendering our lives to Him, but there are times we go against what He wants us to do. Coming up with the words to pray for someone who has hurt you can be hard. Sometimes God removes someone from your life because he/she isn’t right for you or the timing isn’t right. Maybe the question is: Does God want you to have people in your life that break you off? Then I got to know my cousin had called off this bond with her. My husband is constantly hurting me. Hard to believe, as no one actually wants to be hurt but it's true. Please don’t minimize what he has done. This post (https://www.arenewedlife.com/2-reasons-you-cant-keep-healthy-boundaries/) may also help you understand why it’s difficult for you to speak up clearly about what you need in the relationship. A question to ask yourself is whether you could say to God, “Well, you have to forgive me (regardless of my repentance and turning from my sin) because you are a loving God.”. In order for us to choose to return His love, we needed to be free to choose NOT to love Him. He will set all things right in the end. The process of removing sin and being reconciled is dependent on people humbly responding to God and each other. Every time a personal tragedy, plague or natural disaster occurs, many have the real and understandable questions: why did God allow this? Paul went to Macedonia saying, “God had called us to preach the gospel (in Macedonia).” (Act 16:10) Lots of looking at pictures of naked actresses. Some of it comes from sinful human hearts; some of it comes from the demonic realm, angels who also said no to God and became devils. While it’s tough to imagine, you can have a clear heart and also enforce healthy boundaries. He uses pain as His instrument to shape us into the image of His Son (Rom. That’s easy to do in our own strength. Don’t suppress them, but at the same time, there’s no need to react to or express your emotions. The real question is, "Why did God create the human body with the potential to get sick in the first place?" He has sexually given himself over to other women. 22:5). He knew Adam would open the door to all kinds of evil and suffering, and He allowed Adam to do it anyway. Does forgiveness mean you won’t get angry again if they treat you badly yet one more time? When Hurt By Someone You Love – God will use this for your good. When people say no to God, they not only cut themselves off from relationship with Him, they open the door to all kinds of evil. A few of the women in his videos he also had been “researching” on social media, etc. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that this world plagued by pain and disease, deliberate meanness and selfishness, is not God’s original perfect creation. I can build my world without You.” Hi, I was reading your article and wondered how your statement, “But, the bible doesn’t say anything about God forgetting our sin” reconciles with Jeremiah 31:34 which reads, “For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will [seriously] remember their sin no more.” Could you please expound on that? Is it really what God has for you to continue accepting mistreatment or hurtful behaviors? . I know compared to others that have had physical affairs this is small potatoes. (Please see my article The Value of Suffering.) I am finding so tough to handle these things. And sure enough, the mortality rate is still 100%. I appreciate the opportunity to get this cleared up, because I know good Christians, especially women, struggle to stand up for themselves because they believe the right thing to do is to forget offenses. He knew that Adam would rebel, that His perfect creation would crash and burn in the Fall, and that everything would be infected and corrupted by sin. and I discovered that it absolutely was! Also, just because you still are cautious concerning his behaviors does not mean you have not forgiven. People die of disease, because God created us that way at the beginning. “If I forgive him,” you may say, “he’ll only hurt me again.”. I pray he will be willing to put the work in that’s needed to repair this horrific tear he has created in your relationship. “It means you will once again have to check your heart to make sure the emotional debt owed you is ultimately settled with that person by God.”. Brokenhearted, I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Why would a powerful and loving God allow suffering, evil and death? It’s deciding that you have no right to stab them with your words, actions, or thoughts. Perhaps you can find some way to minimize or avoid these reminders. Other times, the Lord allows testing so we can be a comfort to others later. God has no magic wand that instantly transforms us from something broken and dirty (and we are far more broken and dirty than we have any idea) into something whole and beautiful. Or it could be that her behavior is linked to something that needs to be healed within her. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble;" it's good to know that we follow a Savior who really gets it – who sees this fallen world for what it is, and who (contrary to many other religious leaders) tells us the truth about it. Julia: What would you say to someone who’s experiencing hard things, some sort of trial, and they believe that God put these things purposefully in their life just to hurt them? I truly just want to be free from the hurt and pain and that people will just allow and accept that I have forgiven them from the pain they have caused me and just simply leave me alone and not bother me. In Jesus’ name, Amen. You also could be believing a second myth, that it means you have to stay in relationship with this person without the other person changing their treatment of you. It IS cheating on you. Our culture points to our pain as proof that God doesn’t exist; but the devil uses our pain to convince us that God doesn’t care. I hurt so bad that I want to end my marriage. When people ask, "Why would God allow my husband to die of a disease at age 40?" But when we discussed past things, she again started blaming me and dint behave in a good way. Hi Vandy, Tawnya Kordenbrock is a licensed professional clinical counselor and an online coach. 2. Especially when it’s a parent, spouse, or someone you just can’t cut out of your life so easily. My first suggestion is to find someone to vent to who can understand and sympathize with what this has meant to you. What the first Adam messed up, Jesus the Second Adam corrected. Please don’t be fooled, when an addiction is in play (and this sounds very much like an addiction), more than words are needed. And, holding hostility toward the other person serves as a support for that fortified wall. Actually, God does say for us to forgive just as he has forgiven us. He admits she caught his eye a year and a half ago. The impact is exactly the same because he has broken his vows to love, honor, and cherish YOU. Check out this post for your answer https://www.arenewedlife.com/4-signs-youve-really-forgiven-and-how-to-get-there/. Because God is love, He created people to love, and He created people to love Him back. At some point Father God decided to create mankind and draw us into His circle of love, adopting us as sons (Eph. […] Of course it is tough when the pain continues. Let’s see, then, why Jehovah feels hurt when we don’t do what he says. Don’t rush or force it. One reason forgiveness is tough is because it seems you must keep up your guard so you won’t get hurt again. God may decide to unite both of you in the future or he may not. She dint like few things and tried to hurt me emotionally later. God doesn’t enjoy letting us hurt. Commentary for Hebrews 8:12 in the NET says this segment is pointing to the changes believers of the New Covenant can experience as compared to the Old Covenant which had repeated offerings for the penalty of sin. But I fear this behavior is a precursor to cheating and I don’t know what would’ve happened had I not found out. As you’re praying, ask God what in you needs to be healed that is contributing to this being a sore spot in you. The first two people Jehovah created on … Perhaps, he’s called you to stay put in a place you don’t want to. Every day of His earthly life, He suffered as a human, limiting Himself to a body that would get tired, hungry, thirsty and dirty. Attacks from Satan, along with all other tribulations, can cause believers to love God more, resist Satan more, practice patience, and grow stronger in our faith in many other ways. How can you forgive your mother-in-law when she continues to overstep boundaries and say offensive statements? :-) ). Anger at sin committed against you can also strengthen you to finally stick to healthy boundaries that convey your worth in this relationship. Thank You Holy Spirit! I often smile at the seemingly ‘accidental perfect timing’ of these arriving in my newsfeed. ), […] What you don’t get is a heart that really loves, regardless of relationship difficulties. It’s driving me crazy and giving sleepless nights. You might get embarrassed about what you did when you became calmer afterward. Then discovered over 50 videos he had taken of women from behind at the gym. Because you still feel the pain of the hurt, you may wonder if you’ve fully forgiven. He could stop it all with a single word. We need to put evil and suffering into perspective, and that means the Really Big Picture. There is a mystery as to why He put people on this earth. If he totally didn’t remember, what would be the need for any payment (i.e., Christ’s payment) for our sins? I have decided to just be more quiet around her…But…??? I love him, and I know he loves me. Such girl will affect our family too. This is what I use with my couples and it’s very effective. Should you be expected, or is it possible, to forgive when someone keeps hurting you? I have a person I live with and have to see a lot. God uses suffering to cleanse us, to mature us, to burn up shallowness. But instead of teaching their boys to respect women as a whole person and a fellow child of God, they were just taught to never get caught looking. So pictures of her in a tiny little yellow bikini that leaves NOTHING to the imagination, front and back views. 5:8). So what do we pray? If you have concerns for your emotional or physical health, contact a mental health professional or physician in your area. So sad to know your heart is getting hurt in this relationship that means so much to you. You’re sick, you’re dying, you’ve been deserted, you’ve lost a child, you’re innocent but accused of wrongdoing — and they try to shush you. But God has revealed answers through the Bible and through the Person of His Son, Jesus Christ. The end result is that He is redeeming and restoring all the evil, pain and suffering of this sin-sick world. The New English Translation (NET), which strives to be very literal in it’s translation, quotes Jeremiah as saying: “For I will forgive their sin and will no longer call to mind the wrong they have done.”. This is about my cousin’s gf with whom I had met once 5 yrs ago and I dint even know she was his gf. When someone continues to hurt you or has never sincerely apologized, your task of forgiving can take a while. I’m sorry to hear of your struggle. I’m sure it’s hard to figure out how you’re going to be around them yet still honor your emotions. But the Father raised Him from the dead, and He is alive at His Father’s right hand right now in heaven. I keep forgiving him but it seems to me that he sees my forgiveness as a way to keep doing what he’s doing. Click here to learn more about the Terms & Conditions for membership within my “Mastering Emotions” program and Online Private Community. It can break down at any point along the way. It’s a legitimate question, and it deserves a thoughtful answer that honors the amount of pain attached to it. The Father knew He would send the Son to suffer, and the Son knew that’s what He would leave heaven for. I don’t know if that makes any sense really, but that is what it feels like to me. Lord, I pray for Stephanie, for the situation she is in. It seems proven god why did you allow people to hurt me Not everone is as lucky as you are, informations Good Morning Enjoy Your Thursday God Bless s and god bless her soul God bless her soul imaginedragons 60 Heartfelt Sympathy And Matthew 16 26 Inspirational Image contributed by. We live in an area where it would not be hard to meet someone from the videos if he really wanted to. When we choose to pray for the person, we start to see them how God sees them and allows us to begin healing. What started out as a Three-Personed holy hug of the Father, Son and Spirit loving each other while still remaining one God, will be a hugely enlarged circle of love that includes millions, possibly billions of people God made in His image, marked “Mine,” and drew into the divine circle to love and be loved forever. God made us with the very real option to say no to Him, so that our yes would mean something. The God of light and life, of love and truth, knew that all those things are found only in Him; He knew that to reject Him meant choosing darkness and death, isolation and deception. I am having a difficult time in my life. I understand noticing beautiful women and having a passing thought about her. God allows pain and suffering and evil because He has a plan, and He’s working His plan. Disclosure: I am writing this while beset by the most physical pain I’ve experienced since post-polio syndrome started attacking my body with the “unholy trinity” of pain, weakness and fatigue. No one, of course, can hurt the body of Jehovah God. FYI - Any links I provide to products or services are for those I personally have used or approve. Boundaries that will keep us function healthily. Because you still feel the pain of the hurt, you may wonder if … I know I will be worried it will happen again. How you use what is provided here is at your own risk. Starting before the beginning of time. In the Bible you will find the answers to the questions and the problems of your life. I am not married but have the same situation I’m faced with forgiving 70 x 70 x 70 Etc and he keeps doing the same thing over and over and over again because he too is a Christian and understands that forgiveness is part of being a Christian and uses that as ammunition against me to do whatever it is he wants to do, It certainly makes it tough when another Christian acts as though it’s the “Christian” thing to do to accept their hurtful or destructive behaviors and call that “forgiveness.”, What I’ve found is the change has to first begin in you. You explained why we should forgive, but not actually how to do this? You know im such a decent person i cant seem to think anything wrong with me yet i still get hurt in life? God does not want you to go after these people, because He has someone much better in store. Because He knew the end result was worth it. Sue never met a cruise ship she didn't like, especially now that God has provided a travel scooter for getting around any ship! We’ll look at this in my next post. Your past patterns of dealing with being hurt are not those you want to continue. No one can hurt you unless you let them. Perhaps, he’s called you to love a difficult person. Why doesn’t He stop it—surely He can. Lord, comfort her and heal her heart. Jesus suffered throughout His incarnation simply because of His limitations as a human, then suffered an unimaginably horrible death through crucifixion, made even worse because He absorbed all the sin of every human being who had ever lived, was living on the earth at that time, and would ever exist in the future. Forgiving is something that happens in your heart, but you will still need to make clear to him what you need. I see you already responded to this in a previous thread. When someone continues to hurt you or has never sincerely apologized, your task of forgiving can take a while. Healthy boundaries between people, friends, in marriage, with … I do also know that I am a human being who has sinned in my life and one thing about me is that I do not mind sharing with the world at large all I have done, the bad and the ugly. My apologies. She has been hurting me a lot. Doesn’t the Bible say we should forgive and forget others’ offenses? I agree with you, it is hard to keep that in mind. Before we continue to discuss candy – none of. 1:4-5) and creating a Bride for His eternal Son (Rev. If you are having thoughts of escaping by ending your life, immediately call a mental health professional, a crisis hotline (U.S. #1-800-273-8255), or 911. 21:5). You just need to be patient. Thank you for another one of these. Every single step. As Christians, we must realise that having sold out our hearts to God and made the decision to follow Him, it doesn’t exempt us from hurting God. Here’s how to forgive someone who has hurt you emotionally. This means that God knows what it means to suffer. How to Not Turn Out Like Your Parents: Pitfalls to Avoid, Why Journaling Is Important for Emotional Health, How to Forgive Someone Who Keeps Hurting You, https://net.bible.org/#!bible/Hebrews+8:6, https://www.arenewedlife.com/4-signs-youve-really-forgiven-and-how-to-get-there/, https://www.arenewedlife.com/5-keys-to-assertiveness/, https://www.arenewedlife.com/2-reasons-you-cant-keep-healthy-boundaries/, 4 Signs You've Really Forgiven (and How to Get There) - A Renewed Life, Letting Go of the Pain of Your Child's Life - A Renewed Life, When Anger Overwhelms You – praiseworthywoman.com, Become More Like Jesus But Avoid This Huge Mistake - A Renewed Life. Some days are very good and others not so. I would go so far to say that one or two of your articles have profoundly changed my perspective and had significant and positive impact on my life. I pray she would feel your presence right now. […] my last post, we looked at if it was necessary or even possible to forgive someone who continues to hurt […]. 1. It hurts to stand, it hurts to walk. This requires dependence on God through prayer and the use of the Word of God. That is something I can never seem to keep in mind. I have mentioned four of those points: So why does He let innocent people—especially children, for heaven’s sake—suffer? Thank you very much for this post it was very helpful. My cousin’s wedding got fixed with this girl only so I tried to interact with her in a good way. It doesn’t mean, however, that you accept bad treatment. However, when someone has hurt us, we need the Holy Spirit’s power to respond in kindness. so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”. Perhaps, he’s called you to serve in a difficult spot. I’m not sure how to forgive and move on. I really need God’s help every time she hurts me because when she does I struggle between the pain of the hurt and forgiveness. Another reason God might allow Satan or his demons to attack is to build our maturity. I feel like God brings us closer to certain people because these are the people we need in our lives right now. This understanding requires faith which is desired by God. But if you lean on God when others mistreat you and remember Christ as your example in suffering you … God wanted real and actual love, and that meant that some people He made and dearly loved, could and would say no. First of all, let’s be clear, it is tough to forgive when someone keeps hurting you. People always say you can’t really explain why you feel a certain way about someone. But most disturbing is he had been checking out a women from work’s instagram page with (surprise, surprise) is full of lots of gym selfies showing ample cleavage AND she competes in bikini fitness shows. I am adding you to my prayer list, for I know only God my Father can truly heal your pain. (Take a moment and read that again.) The counsel is: Keep God’s attributes in living, dynamic relation to each other. Says he has never talked to her. He swears he never did and I do believe him. Instead, forgiveness is an attitude of your heart. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. If you are constantly thinking about how people mistreat you and feeling sorry for yourself you will get depressed, you will have lethargy and host of other issues. Our sin died with him gf about your feelings mistreatment or hurtful behaviors to the! ( hence, the videos ) at that person keep God ’ s a parent, spouse, or it. 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